Wil, I am your father

Further testament to how screwed up we are, these texts were received on 03.10.11

8.57am: "In one "show" i was in a barnyard shed defending it against demonic pigs. In order to kill them i had to smash through their skulls with a shovel. I think half the dream was just me practising how to kill with a shovel xP after i had killed a bunch of pigs i decided that i should bury them, cos leaving dead demonic bits lying around wasn't that great. So i started digging up the dirt ground and hit somedthing hard about a few centimetres down. I tried to lift it out but accidentally ripped the lid off. It was a gravel coffin thing. Suddenly creepy things started happening like wind started blowing and lots of noises going on. I was like "oh shit oh shit oh shit". Tbc

9.05am: "I was quite aware that I had probably disturbed some holy spirit. Then I felt like i was being watched. It felt like someone was watching me from outside, peering through the slits in the shed walls. I was totally freaking out. More demon things! Then the next bit is sort of a blur. I think it tried to attack me but i was pretty good with my shovel and then a few seconds later we were friends and i think the spirit turned out to be my long lost dad. So I found out that i was the child of some demonly holy spirit xP i was like "where have you been my whole life?!" and he said something like, "i've always been there for you. I went to see you at your shows and i went to see you when you were in the Olympics!"

9.07am: "Apparently my demon dad owned lots of restaurants in town and always got special treatments whenever i was there xP it actually turned out to be a very happy ending xP"




Crazy pharmacist. Wil, whatever it is you're on before you go to bed that's giving you these dreams, be sure to send me some.